It is with a heavy heart, a clear conscious, sand in my shoe, and of sound mind and body that I tender my resignation. While I admit no wrong doing I feel that it is in the interest of the American people and with the hope to allow Best Buy to heal that I step down.
In regards to Monster 1000 cable, I have come to terms with it. There is nothing wrong with charging a premium for a well made product constructed by tiny bloody hands, with minerals mined by exploited workers. As to the credit apps I had people fill out though I will have to answer to Jesus Christ himself. Each night before bed I pray for his mercy and as I lay there falling asleep I hope that our Lord is a consumer of high end electronics slightly outside the grasps of his earnings.
To Alex I leave the pair of sunglasses I think I left in the drawer back in home theater.
To Sean I leave my family mansion located in the hills of west Virginia, with the stipulation that he spend one night in it. It is possibly haunted or my uncle is squatting in it, either way good luck.
To Philip I leave my love and these words “I would look you in the eyes, and it would be ok.”
I will leave my badge and gun on your desk in two weeks.
Billy Miller Esquire