The Trifecta of Evil

by bmiller445

What keeps you awake at night? Are you worried about your children, dirty bombs, terrorist threat levels, fecal borne disease? You’re not alone, there are lots of people out there as irrational, ill-informed, and just as cowardly as your are. Some of us have real fears though. Fears made from things that have bubbled up from the depths of hell, some of us fear that that is the worst of man and beyond. Some of us aren’t vaginas. What is a man like me afraid of you ask…? (go ahead ask it, I need to hear you say it.) I fear the Trifecta of Evil.

The Trifecta of Evil is like if all evil in the known universe had a race where speed was evil these would be the winners of that race hands down. (Perhaps your thinking that that was a poorly made metaphor. Jokes on you asshole it was a poorly made simile.) Nazis place first hands down, they’re the evil leaders of evil. They have the ability to shape the minds and hearts of evil, they rolled a 20 in charisma. A distant second is Zombies, they’re evil and hell bent on death and destruction, but deep down they’re primal, a force of nature and can’t answer for their crimes. Then there are Aliens. These fellow denizens  of the universe aren’t inherently evil, but have the ability, just as we humans do, to create Nazis, but Nazis that have mastered intergalactic space travel, so that’s the shits.

At night I lay awake  wondering if I am prepared when any or, God forbid, all of these things happen. I imagine a world of chaos and pray that the good stand together hand in, brain protecting helmets on, ready to do what it takes to beat these things back. As I laid in bed just the other night with my eyes wide open and my body paralyzed in fear as the flames began to lick at my imagination (an imagination that probably makes brains only that much more tasty and tempting to zombies.) I had a terrible realization. I hadn’t even considered robots. I now where pajama pants to bed so I don’t directly crap onto the sheets.

-Billy

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One Comment to “The Trifecta of Evil”

  1. Billy, simile vs metaphor … hmm.

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